Monday was Mercury’s birthday. I apologize for not publicizing the birthday in advance but its birthday was only determined Monday morning.
My son Frederick loves birthdays and is into astronomy lately. We were learning about the sun’s age – when it was born, when it will blow up and turn into a nebula, and all of those details that inspire little boys. I made a big push for celebrating the sun’s birthday.
“No one ever remembers the sun’s birthday,” I pronounced (all the while thinking that pagans are likely a major exception in some way or other). “We should have a birthday party for the sun!”
Frederick paused and said, “Mama, we need to have a birthday party for Mercury.”
I looked at him for just a moment wondering what crazy idea he had. His line of thinking dawned on me and I laughed in big belly laughs.
Just in case you haven’t kept up on planetary orbits (as was the case with me before reading my son’s books), Mercury takes 88 days to make its way around the sun. A couple of months ago we talked about the definition of a “year” – it is defined by Earth’s orbit around the sun. If all “planet years” are defined by the time it takes them to orbit the sun, then I am not even three years old in Jupiter years.
What this means for “birthdays” is that Mercury’s birthday would be every 88 days.
That’s a whole lot more cake and ice cream than a regular old Earth birthday.
We decided that we must celebrate Mercury’s birthday. Having gotten caught up in planning a five-year-old birthday party last year, I decided that I had better make the Mercury birthday easy, so we went with “spontaneous” and decided Monday morning that Monday was the big day.
A bit of madness
Since “Mercurial” means “wild” and “unpredictable,” we decided to be a bit crazy and use the Senior group’s “Burma Shave”-like signs for our own purposes. The Hot Springs Capineros publicize their community dinners on signs along the road as you enter California Hot Springs. The signs would normally read:
Hobo Dinner
Saturday November 25 6 pm
Adults $6
Children $3
Community Center
Prize for best costume
Right now the signs read:
Lost:
Marbles
If found
Call
Dean
Dean is the local postmaster and does not read this blog. For any locals who might read this blog, the official story is that Scott posted the signs. You will be rewarded with future treats on Mercury’s birthday to keep a lid on it. Thank you in advance.
Fun and ice cream
We flew remote control airplanes at the local school and played on the play equipment. While there, we gave poison oak products to one of the guys helping on the brush clearing.
We drove to the historic pool building for ice cream and chose two pint containers of something called “Dryers Dibs.” They were mint ice cream balls covered in chocolate, sort of like Bon Bons. We walked the pints to the Post Office where we ate them with Dean and with a woman who came to mail some packages.
“Mercury’s birthday? That *is* a new one,” she said as Frederick gave her a Dryers Dib.
A cowboy bar
We headed two miles up the road to Pine Flat to take advantage of my dad’s offer to buy us dinner at “Taco Night,” at The Rabbit Foot, Pine Flat’s only restaurant and bar. It is filled with knotty pine and cowboys and is my local choice for hamburgers when I am not concerned about my consumption of empty calories and E. coli. That is to say, I don’t go often, but I do enjoy it when I do.
I ran into a local carpenter who reported the Burma Shave signs.
“They say ‘Someone lost his marbles. Call Dean about it.’”
“Really? I’ll have to go check those out.”
We found seats on the “bar side” of the facility, a perfect location for publicizing Mercury’s birthday.
Rugged Man Dave was there drinking his second Bloody Mary when I approach him and his friends at the bar. I have said many times that Rugged Man Dave may be the most powerful person in our community. Most people think I’m crazy but he is the one you call when a tree falls on your house. That’s a power position in my book.
“Hey guys, did you realize that today is Mercury’s birthday?”
“Who?”
“Mercury. The planet.”
“What? I spend way too much time worrying about Earth. I can’t be thinking of Mercury too.”
I explained the concept and pointed out the many ways people might celebrate and gestured toward the Bloody Mary.
On a dime Dave responded: “You need to count all of the planets, the rings of Saturn, and the moons of Jupiter. Every 88 days just isn’t enough.”
The guys at the bar agreed as Dave went on, “Do you really think you should be so focused on astronomy? There’s scary shit out there. There are huge black holes eating shit up!”
The guys laughed and one gestured toward Dave, “Yep, one black hole is sitting right there.”
The beginnings of a good story
In between eating my tacos with ground beef, I hugged a local who has been going through health treatments.
“How are you?”
“Today is a good day,” Nancy said.
“Do you realize why that might be? Why today is special?”
I gave her the story. She laughed and said she needed to keep a chart of all planetary birthdays.
My dad paid for the tacos and we headed for the door. Nancy took a booth near the door as we were leaving.
“Bye bye!” she waved.
“Bye bye and happy birthday!” I responded.
My dad followed me outside laughing and said, “She just started telling the people at her table ‘Did you know that it’s Mercury’s birthday?’ I think you have the beginnings of a great story.”
“Yep, and only 88 days for the next installment.”
If my calculation is correct, the next day of Mercurial Madness should fall on Friday, May 30. Mark your calendars. There will likely be free ice cream at the Post Office here in California Hot Springs for anyone who might be passing through in the late morning. You will see locals waiting for the mail delivery and some crazy people with a four- gallon party pack of mint and chip ice cream.
