The problem with living every day in a black hole of despair is that we see things differently from that hole than do people around us.
“Buck up!”
“Just make the call!”
“What’s your problem?”
We’ve all heard it and the problem is that if you could “buck up,” you would, but you can’t and you can’t really explain why because apparently it seems so easy to everyone else that “bucking up” should be easy.
My son just lost his first tooth and his world just about fell apart. The tooth was loose and all of the adults in the world talked about what a great milestone it was. He should be excited, right? We thought so. Of course, he’s only five-and-a-half and none of his friends have lost teeth. This was unknown territory for him.
One day I worked in my office with the door closed and although he was playing with his grammy, he barged into my office and curled up on my lap. His tooth was suddenly more loose and he was scared.
By the next morning, the adults had forgotten about the tooth but he was still in emotional turmoil. My husband took him to a movie (a forty-five minute drive) just to distract him. On the way to the movie, the tooth came out. He was suddenly better and fascinated by the thing in his hand that looked like a tiny piece of chopped almond. He nearly lost it about seventeen times before he got it home.
At home he put it into a small silk pillow that is made to put under his own bed pillow. He nearly fell asleep watching another movie that evening until I roused him to go to bed. He headed to bed half asleep but clinging to that little silk pillow like his entire world revolved around it.
And the fact is, his world did revolve around that microscopic piece of bone. His emotions were tied up in it for nearly a week. We didn’t quite “get it” because, of course, we thought he should be excited about losing a tooth. Perhaps the next time will go a little better. Perhaps next time the adults will have a better understanding of the child’s perspective.
