Many months have passed since my last down cycle but I am keenly aware of how important it is for me to live my life differently so that those cycles either never come again or so that, if they do, they will not be nearly as grim.
One of the tools that I use on potentially very bad days is to challenge myself to see something very interesting. I had a potentially stressful meeting in late August. I tried not to be too anxious about it (but I was). Everyone in the house was well aware that of all of the days this year, that day held the greatest potential for me to go bananas. My mom offered to accompany me to town and run errands while I went through the wringer. Knowing myself the risk in the day, I took her up on her offer.
But before we left home that morning I made an announcement:
"We need to take the camera because today we will take a picture of something spectacular."
We headed off down the road looking for our picture rather than worrying about what else might be waiting for me.
We were not an hour into our day when my mom exclaimed:
"Look! It's a Vander Eyk truck!"
I expect people would do well to be as easily amused as I am. If you don't know why seeing a milk truck on the highway 99 in Central California would be exciting, read more about my investigation of the dairy earlier this summer. This is the organic dairy that lost its certification in May. A formal video eulogy to the dairy is here on this blog.
So here is the "picture of something spectacular."
It may not look like much. When we returned home Sander asked "Did you get a photo?"
"Yes, one."
"Of what?"
"A Vander Eyk milk truck."
"You're kidding."
"No," I smiled. "And the rest of the day went well too."
Get a Camera
If you don't have a camera, get one, even a terrible one. Quality matters little, a fact that should be pretty clear from my photo above. On bad days look for that picture. Put it on your blog if you have one and include a track back here or send it to me here -- amanda(at)rebuild-from-depression(dot)com. (Put a dot instead of the word "dot" there and a "@" instead of the word "at.")
If you do not find a spectacular picture on a bad day, do not sulk that you cannot even do that well. It is a frame of mind. Look for something strange, interesting, or amusing. The process of looking will change your day.
