Postmaster Dean Nominates “The Bambi Burger”

Here in California Hot Springs (population of about three), on the edge of Sequoia National Forest, you get to know your postmaster. We happen to be lucky with ours – he’s a character and involved in a lot of local mischief. It is natural that he make a nomination to the Pest or Dinner? contest.
I thought he would nominate a skunk, but perhaps he didn’t because that would lead me to tell an amusing skunk story about Dean. And because of an incident with a squirrel I documented back in the summer of 2005, I thought he would be good for a squirrel nomination, but Margaret beat him to it.
Dean nominates Bambi as the pest and “The Bambi Burger” as dinner. He reports that the Bambi Burger is much like a regular hamburger, but perhaps a little more dry. And actually, venison (the meat from the deer) is full of depression-fighting vitamins and minerals. It is a depression buster food.
Dean says to me “you know where to find some venison,” with a twinkle in his eye.
The alleged location of the venison is the sand pile outside my bedroom window. The sand pile is a monument to a job I’ve been working on for two years and haven’t completed. Dean claims there are two dead deer buried beneath the sand.
The first deer would have come from the main road, hit by a passing car. The second had a heart attack when jumping a fence.
Both the car and the fence belong to me.

In both cases, Dean helped Deputy Scott move the dead deer to locations unknown and, to this day, Dean claims the location is that sand pile outside of my bedroom window. The deer in the picture above is walking right toward the sand pile, by the way.
But I certainly don’t believe him. I expect Dean and Scott put the deer where they bury the other dead bodies around here.